Being real

Do you like to have your house all in order when company calls?

Most women wish to keep their homes in such a good state that they do not have to be anxious when the door-bell suddenly rings. I'm like that most of the time too. But you know, sometimes unplanned events happen to us which can mean that our chores back up a little, and suddenly we find ourselves running around in a dither trying to catch up on things!

Perhaps a visitor arrives unexpectedly and we must leave our cleaning to attend to them; meaning that as we chat together we get further behind in our daily plans.

This is what happened to me just last night. After being out most of the day shopping and coming home late in the afternoon, I thought I could quickly run through the house and attend to what needed to be done before tea and before my friends arrived for our evening study group.

I was wrong!

A visitor arrived just as I should have been starting to cook tea for my husband and me. The nature of the visit meant that I needed to help entertain them along with my husband and postpone the chores I was already behind on. We had a very lovely visit and I'm so glad they called on us because we have not seen them for some time. But.. as we talked and shared about the happenings in our lives right now, I found myself struggling internally about how long this was all taking! I came to a point where I could have excused myself and got on with the jobs I should've done earlier, but I started to think about why I was having this emotional conflict within. Part of me was enjoying the fellowship and part of me was focused on the items cluttering the room, things which I had intended to put away before anyone came. Not that there was a huge mess-just something here and there not in it's usual place.

My nature is to get a little stressed about this kind of situation because I feel 'not in control', but I remembered a conversation I had with a dear friend just a week or so ago...and it made me stop in my tracks .

My friend was down-hearted because she felt she was not keeping an orderly home and was comparing my housekeeping with hers. Because she is such a wonderful friend she automatically placed me upon a pedestal (which I certainly don't deserve to be on) and declared that my home is always tidy. Not quite true-but compared with her very busy household of 8, I guess I can understand what she means. The fact is that I have less volume of things to be handled and taken care of than her. And to tell the truth, life is not always neat -especially when you are homeschooling four of your six children as she is! There are the necessary items for learning visible and evident in the main rooms of the home. It's just the way it is.

My home on the other hand, only has the trappings of two adults to be dealt with on a daily basis now. Much easier to handle and hide away quickly! I protested and owned up to having messy rooms at times too, but she was not so convinced and laughingly asked me to email her a photo of it for proof. After she left I pondered our conversation and realised that my fussing was causing her to be dis-heartened and much harder on herself than necessary. I obviously needed to let her see that I struggle at times with keeping on schedule and am no different to her-just have a different set of challenges. I certainly didn't want her to be deflated by looking at me! So I hatched a plan to take photos as she suggested to show her that I was not such a domestic goddess after all -far from it indeed!!

Well..I didn't need to get the camera out because last night when she came for our study she found me with dishes still in the sink and things misplaced around the room and me running late with my final preparations for our group. (Perhaps it was all in the Lord's plan as our earlier visitor said he'd felt that he should come to see us but didn't know why. Maybe it was so my friend would come before I could get the kitchen cleaned away!) Normally I would be feeling a bit guilty over being 'caught out' like that but instead I decided to let it go and relax. After all, I was with my dearest friends who love me for who I am, not for how tidy my coffee table is. I was struck by the thought that I want whoever comes here to feel at ease, and not leave with a false image of me or my home-or to compare themselves with me in an unreal way.

It's so easy to get caught between the need to keep a clean house and the pressure to present a picture of good home management. Oftentimes we put ourselves under unnecessary stress, and effect others as well, by trying to 'have it all together'.. or at least give the impression that we do! How much better it is to be real and let others see that we all fall somewhat short at times. Homekeeping is a beautiful and important vocation -no doubt about that- but perhaps there are times when we need to lighten up and not take ourselves quite so seriously. Provoking another to do well at it, is only a good thing when it's coupled with honest humility and joyful encouragement. We need to guard against the temptation to appear better than we are to others.. the world isn't going to stop turning because the dishes are not done occasionally!

blessings..Trish

linked to http://raisinghomemakers.com/